Sometimes it seems easier to just plan your wedding entirely on your own, right? No need to involve parents or friends; your wedding is just for you, isn’t it? That’s not always true though; at least not as far as your parents are concerned! You need guidance and a strong mother to support all of her own… I mean your decisions. Let’s not paint too bad a picture on parents though, shall we? After all, they did raise you and are only trying to do what they think is best for you. So how can we keep them happy but still get what we want for our wedding?
Keep Them All in the Loop
If you and your spouse have made some plans already, let your parents know. Nothing hurts our parents more than the thought of us keeping secrets from them; especially when the secret is about something so important to their children! If you let them know what’s going on, they will be much happier with the situation. The simplest means of placating your parents is by telling them exactly what, when, where, and how you plan to perform your wedding ceremony. So long as you answer all of those questions, most parents will remain at least somewhat content.
Stop and Listen
It’s only natural for parents to want, not only to know the plan, but also to be a part of the plan. They will, of course, wish to contribute to the decision making process, giving suggestions and guidance wherever they can. While in some circumstances this may actually be helpful, it is not uncommon for parents to complicate the wedding plan further. (Especially the mother of the bride!) Regardless of whether you agree with what your parents are asking of you or not, it is important that you stop and let them be heard. After you have allowed them speak, don’t ever just dismiss their ideas. Think about them. You never know when your Mum or Dad might actually come up with something great!
Balance Each Other’s Needs with Your Parents
It is essential that the two of you remain on the same page. So long as you know what each of you wants, you can compromise in such a way that you both have an equal share in the planning. The hard part is inputting your parent’s wishes on top of the compromise you’ve already made. While you can’t allow your parents to completely usurp your plans and take over everything, you can and should make some effort to incorporate their wishes into your wedding. The line does need to be drawn, but the worst mistake to make would be to draw the line right through them!
Most importantly over the time of wedding planning, keep close to your parents. It is easy enough to drift away while spending all your time pouring over plans with your soon to be spouse. Make time for your parents as well. Do this and you’ll be immensely surprised by the degree of love and support they will give you when the day arrives! Family is so important. Just remember, family is not just your spouse and children; family is everyone who loves and cares for you, as well as those who you love and care for. This is the greatest and sweetest gift on the planet! Cherish it!
Getting ready for one’s wedding can be an incredibly stressful time. There are so many things to keep track of; how many people to invite; where they’ll all sit; venue; decor; the list goes on and on! So many people stress themselves out trying to arrange the perfect day, they end up making some unfortunate mistakes. Here’s a few of the more common mistakes that you may wish to avoid if and when you plan for your own wedding.
A Planner’s Worst Nightmare: Forgetting a Guest
There is nothing worse after spending months planning a wedding than realizing too late that you neglected someone! Whether it be a family member or a close friend, you can just about guarantee that they will never let you forget it! Years will be spent apologizing and sympathizing with the one whom you forgot. Never mind that it was your wedding and your special day; if you forgot someone who considers themselves worthy enough to be invited, it will be a mistake that you will remember for the rest of your married life!
Not Accounting for the Weather
Planned the perfect outdoor wedding? That’s great! Just don’t forget that nature may choose not to smile down on you when the time comes! Countless outdoor weddings have been planned without a backup plan in case of rain. All the guests turn up in their gorgeous gowns and their handsome suits only to have them ruined by a downpour of rain! Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the bride and groom still had the day of their lives; but, when it comes down to it, we all feel much happier when we’re nice and warm, don’t we?
Venue Service Issues
For those of us who are just not cut out to plan everything all by ourselves, we may choose to hire out a venue that specializes in making the décor and table arrangements for us. There is nothing wrong with this; an unfortunate mistake to make in this situation is to neglect checking the reviews of said venue. If you hire someone or a company to plan most of your wedding for you, the worst result you can imagine is that the company you hired is simply not cut out to plan out a nice wedding! When that happens, all you have to do is go up to your Mum and listen to her singsong “I told you so, dear!”
I’m Late; I’m Late for a Very Important Date!
If you really want to make a horrible mistake at your wedding, the best way to do that would be to turn up after it already started! Nothing makes a wedding officiator cringe more than a late bride or groom. It doesn’t matter how much planning you put into your wedding; if you aren’t there, it’s not going to help! This is especially valid if you are the groom. I guarantee if you, as the groom, are late for your own wedding, your bride will never let you forget it!
Getting married a second time can’t be that hard can it? I mean, you’ve already gone through it once; surely it will be easier, right? On the contrary! Sure, you have some extra experience, but a second marriage has its own additional complications. Here are a few steps to prepare yourself for your second marriage:
Take Your Time
Second marriages can be tougher than the first, initially. You may find yourself having insecurities from your first marriage echoing into the second; a fear that your new spouse will turn out somewhat like the first. This is a perfectly natural response to your situation. Do not rush headstrong into a new relationship. Give each other a little space and some extra patience as well as your love. Remember that this is just as difficult for them as it is for you. As time goes by, you will notice the insecurity getting smaller and smaller. If you remain vigilant, one day you will get to experience the extraordinary bliss that is a perfect second marriage, free of any fear!
Be an Open Book
While you may not want to dwell on the past, and so you shouldn’t, there may be times where you may need to open up about your ex, just as your new spouse may need to open up about theirs. This doesn’t mean you need to constantly tell every detail of your previous marriage, but sometimes it is helpful to lay your cards on the table in order to have a fresh start with your new spouse. Talking and admitting the things that occurred before you got together with each other doesn’t make you a bad couple; it makes you a strong couple! A couple that can’t talk to each other usually won’t be able to last long without a confrontation.
Don’t be Bitter
If you still hold resentment for your ex when going into a new relationship, you may find that bitterness coming out when you least expect it. Sure, your past relationship failed, but you learned from it, right? You gained experience and matured as a person, didn’t you? So, instead of being bitter, you can use what you’ve learned to make your new relationship that much stronger! Nothing can stop you if you believe in yourself!
Treat Your Spouse Like They are Your First Love
The best thing you can do to make your spouse feel loved is treat them like your first and only love. If you think of them as less than your full love, they will likely notice. If you give them your all regardless of whoever came before them, it will be a strong building block toward becoming the strong invincible couple that you two deserve to be! Never should you compare them with your ex or any other you may have been with. Right in the here and now they are your one and only love! So long as the both of you remember and adhere to that, you will be unstoppable!
Having trouble figuring out who to invite to your wedding? Don’t worry, you’re not alone! Almost everyone who plans their wedding has insane amounts of difficulty figuring out who they should invite. Most of the time, it’s because you have limited seating; but sometimes it can simply be that you have no idea who you do and do not want there. (Or perhaps you know who you ‘DO NOT’ want there, but can’t find a way to do so without offense) This article contains a few simple guidelines that you may find useful to follow in order to release you of your troubles!
The obvious first choice is family! There are very few weddings where the initial families are not present; usually because either one or the other is deceased or was not present during the life of their child. In most cases, however, the first guests that should be on your list are your respective families; both the groom’s and the bride’s family equally. After they have been added, you can follow up with any other close relatives; grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and any other relative that you feel close to. Depending on your cultural background, it may be the norm to invite your entire family relation to your wedding, but whether you follow this is entirely up to you and your soon to be spouse. Starting to feel like you have a decent guest list yet? Don’t go anywhere; we’re far from done!
Close Friends: Yes, You can be a Little Selfish!
It is super difficult to choose which friends you will and will not invite. As you pick one from the other, you already know deep inside your brain that any friend you don’t invite is going to be hurt for life! But sometimes you can’t avoid this! In the end, the decision is yours. Oh, you’re still not sure how to make that decision? The easiest way is to look back over your life and see which of your friends were there for you when you needed them. (Your spouse to be can do the same, of course) Got that list in your head now? Great! Yes, it is still going to be hard to pick some friends over the others; but, when it comes down to it, it’s your wedding and you want your best and closest friends by your side, don’t you?
If you still have space for more guests then now is the time to think back once more and determine who has had the most positive impact on your life. (Other than your family and friends who are already invited!) Perhaps your old primary school teacher? What about your Dad’s best friend who taught you to relax in a boat and fish? Could it be your Mum’s friend who brought you to a hair salon to get a perm when you were feeling down? You never know; it may even be that your neighbour influenced your life simply by smiling and saying “Hey” each day. The point is, no matter what category you place people under, the ones who you really want at your wedding are the ones that have been there for you; that you feel close to, right? If that’s the way you feel about it, then go ahead and make that guest list!
Your big day is coming! Just a few short weeks before you finally marry the man/woman of your dreams! Time is of the essence, however! What should you get done before your wedding day arrives? Well, this can be answered in many ways. As for right now, we’ll answer it by telling you what you should NOT do just before your wedding. Believe it or not, many people try to do the following things, when it just really isn’t necessary.
Don’t go on a Starvation Diet
This is more common with women, but guys do this too. Going on a starvation diet, or any diet for that matter, just before your wedding is a big no, no! You’re already going to be under a large amount of stress planning and arranging everything for the wedding itself. The last thing you want to do is deny your body the nutrients it needs to power itself properly! By this time, you should already have your suit and dress ready and waiting for you just the way you are. So be proud of yourself! Stand up there just as you are and know that your soon-to-be spouse loves you and thinks you’re perfect just as you are! That goes for both of you!
Changing your appearance just before a wedding will often end in disaster. Whether it’s your hair; your face; or even just your nails, stick with what you’re used to. The last thing you need on your wedding day is uneven hair or messy makeup! Your beloved chose you as you are now and no matter how ‘made up’ other girls are there; you will still be the most beautiful person in the whole wedding ceremony!
For Goodness Sake, Don’t get Drunk!
Probably one of the stupidest things you could do is get hammered the night before your wedding, causing you to go through your entire wedding ceremony with a hangover. Who wants that? There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun with your mates or your girlfriends (assuming that you are the bride, of course!) the day before your wedding. However, fun or not, look after yourself. You can get hammered any day of the week; you can only marry a woman for the first time once!
Don’t Stay Up all Night Panicking
This one is sometimes a little more out of your control. It is perfectly natural to be nervous before getting married. However, the best form of beautification is a good night’s sleep. A good eight hours of shuteye will leave you wide-eyed, energized, and looking great! You don’t want to have big black bags under your eyes on your wedding day, do you? So kick back early on in the evening; relax; read a good book; and drop off as early as you can so you can be up early and ready for you and your spouse’s big day!
You’re about to get married! Isn’t that exciting?! Many people have a preset way of thinking about what it would be like to get married. Most single people assume that getting married is the most amazing and incredible thing that could ever happen to you. In many ways this is true; however, there is more to it than that. The resulting reacting for the bride-to-be, for example, is not what everyone would assume. Don’t get me wrong, getting married is awesome, but the events that lead up to the wedding aren’t always so great for her. She often goes through emotional turmoil beforehand. Confused? Let’s lay out a few of the most common reactions for the bride, shall we?
A Combination of Anxiety and Stress
The most common initial reaction of the bride-to-be is to feel a sense of anxiousness that she can’t explain away. This anxiety causes increased stress just to make matters worse. An inescapable feeling of dread for what is coming and what she might be losing envelops her. Will she ever be Daddy’s little girl again? Will she ever be able to just be free and worry only for herself as she used to be able to? She feels like there is no possible way she could be a good wife. There is even a part of her that fears she and her husband will not work out in the long run. After some time of trying to shut out all these horrible thoughts and feelings, she may consider calling the wedding off. Most of the time, in the end, this does not occur and the wedding goes on. The times where it is called off, it is often never made to be back ‘on’ again; at least not for a long period of time.
Has He Always Been this Irritating?
As the wedding day gets close, she may find herself noticing a number of tiny things that her husband-to-be does. For some strange reason, these tiny things begin to annoy her profusely! She begins to point these things out to him and then gets even more irritated when it seems like he is unable to stop all of them at once. Deep down, she knows that she’s perhaps being too picky, but that doesn’t stop her from continually pointing them out.
The End Result
So what does she finally think when the day comes. Sure, some still feel anxious and stressed on the day. That’s only natural, right? Once it’s all over, however, and things start to calm down, she realizes that married life isn’t so bad after all. In fact, she will usually really enjoy life with her husband. All her stress and anxiety was for nothing; or was it? Under no circumstances should she believe that her husband was perfectly fine the whole time. Men are not immune to the fears of growing up either. However, women are naturally more empathetic than men and find it more difficult to cope with the extremeness of their anxiety. So men, when your bride-to-be starts pointing out every time you tap your fingers on the table, you damn-well better quit it!